Jojo is Missing.

        I can't find Jojo. He's been missing the whole semester. I've tried to txt/call him, and even used the Chinese instant messenger QQ (which is how I stay in touch with a lot of students). I'm not sure what happened--I thought we were becoming good friends.

I met Jojo at English corner last semester (where a lot of students go to practice English with each other once a week--we're obligated to attend, but it gives us opportunity to meet students we don't teach), and we seemed to hit it off well. That night's topic was sports, and after we exchanged phone numbers and emails, I would meet up with him about once a week to have lunch and talk. He helped me to buy a new hard drive for Rebecca's laptop, and we even had a couple of "philosophical discussions" over the course of the term. 

But now he's gone. Vanished. I assume it's because he was a senior and only had a senior project left in order to graduate, and perhaps he stayed home to finish the spring term. However, I'm afraid I might have been less than a freind in Jojo's eyes.

It's quite normal in Chinese culture to "befriend" someone in order to acheive a goal (the equivalent of the phrase "wine and dine" comes to mind), and this seems to happen all the more to English-speaking foreigners. The unfortunate truth is that it takes a long time to earn a Chinese person's trust (but when you do, it's usually for life). And it's not unusual to lose contact with a person when a need is met (in my case helping practice English for some standardized exam, interview, etc.)

I suppose the point is that sometimes it is hard to know for sure whether a person really wants a relationship, or they just have a need. Don't get me wrong, I'm not really hurt or angry, I understand that is part of relationships in this culture (and others)--as confusing as that may be. However, it does make it difficult to discern when to put energy and time into a relationship with hopes of developing it on a spiritual level, when, in fact, it ends up as nothing but free English tutoring.

Jojo is gone, and he's not the only student I've lost touch with from last semster. I think positively about these people, looking to meet up with them again, realizing that it does take "40 touches" sometimes to finally get through to someone (see Kevin's blog here). But it does make me a little gunshy with the next person that wants to hang out. Father, help us discern these situations and always be willing to put our trust in you when meeting someone new.

Transform

This week I have found myself doing a lot of things I would consider "upkeep." We haven't spent much time with students (aside from lunch today with Clover and Cheryle), and I feel like a lot of time consuming tasks are being done without visible success.
For example, I've been trying to get our website back up to date. Some of you may laugh if you've noticed that it hasn't been updated officially since October. However, we are learning that this is a bigger endeavor than we anticipated at the start, and no one had ever sustained a website prior to this year--something new we're learning.
Additionally, we're learning how to communicate better with people back home. A lot of people have put time, effort, and money into making sure the seven of us got here and are effective. We don't always stay in contact, but we know we owe it to those people to keep them informed. We've tried various things (i.e. the website) and are also trying some newer methods (email newsletter also in the works)--again, a learning process.
Also, a lot of trial and error has gone into the rest of our Work with students and friends--oftentimes very frustrating for both parties; and we find ourselves feeling inadequate or failing at our purpose--yet again, a process to learn from.
Last night, we met (a group of teachers who get together over dinner for our Wed. night study) to discuss the activities of our 1st century predecessors. One thing that I realized through that conversation (Acts 2:42-47) was that we have been learning this whole year how to be more like those people--just twenty centuries later.
In other words, this whole year has been a process of transformation--as individuals, married couples, a team, etc. I'm glad to find the father doing this to us. I'm not ashamed of our work this year, even though we don't have the numeric success that many consider so important. I am reminded that we are called to be faithful, not successful and that our Father takes care of the increase, not us.
So whether our failures have been in communication with people back home or with our studies here, I count it all as part of the transformation process that makes us as a group that much more experienced for the long term service we have committed to in our lives.

A Walk in The Park

Last Saturday we had a great opportunity to bond with some of our newly found brothers and sisters. The week before Rebecca and I had visited with a couple of brothers and they had told us about a great trip they had during the winter break, helping out victims of the earthquake that occured over a year ago in the south. They went on to tell us how much they enjoyed studying with us, and would like to spend more time with us. We shared their sentiments, and said we would like to do more with them. They also told us that the following Saturday was a planned day in the park with some brothers and sisters, and they wanted us to come--so we agreed.

Satruday rolled around, and we went with Stan and Juliane to meet them at the park near the West Lake. After a little trouble finding the exact location of the park, we found our brothers, only to discover that the group was actually about thirty students, most from our university--all brothers and sisters who studied together and met somewhere on our campus! We were excited to meet them, and they us. We played games, told jokes, and took pictures for most of the morning.

Around noon, Isaachar, the brother I've become closest to, told us in his broken English, "We now hand out papers and share good news with people." I had some inlcination of warning about this before--we had sent txt messages asking what we were doing and if we needed to bring anything--but only now it was clear that they had come to the park with purpose. We said our goodbyes and left to meet some other teachers for lunch.

       We found out later that they were canvasing the park, looking for people interested in hearing Good News. We are encouraged and inspired by the self-motivated efforts of our new family! We want to find our role in their work, and help them as best we can, without interfering with the good things they are doing. Father help us!